OpenSUSE Linux Rants

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October 20, 2009

Linux Expert Gets 54.20 MPG

by @ 3:52 pm. Filed under humor

mileage

My car has a 10-gallon tank. And hat.

54.20 miles per gallon. That’s better than my motorcycle. Nope, my car isn’t a Prius. Nope, it isn’t even a hybrid. No, it isn’t a Geo Metro. Yes, this is a real picture that I took myself, this very morning of my trip meter.

<punchline>
YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY!
</punchline>

July 31, 2009

Linux: rm -rf * – screenshot of the day

by @ 8:04 am. Filed under command-line, humor

Linux: rm -rf *

 

Tell me you haven’t always wanted to do this.

July 10, 2009

“Sucks to be a Windows User.”

by @ 10:10 am. Filed under education, humor, War

This came in my email…. 🙂

Sucks to be a Windows user.

IT: Korean DDoS Bots To Self-Destruct on Thursday July 09, @11:41PM
Posted by timothy on Thursday July 09, @11:41PM
from the someone-needs-a-little-hanging-before-bed dept. security tsu doh nimh writes “Several news sources are reporting that the tens of thousands of Microsoft Windows systems infected with the Mydoom worm and being used in an ongoing denial of service attack against US and S. Korean government Web sites will likely have their hard drives wiped of data come Friday. From The Washington Post’s Security Fix blog, the malware is ‘designed to download a payload from a set of Web servers. Included in that payload is a Trojan horse program that overwrites the data on the hard drive with a message that reads “memory of the independence day,” followed by as many “u” characters as it takes to write over every sector of every physical drive attached to the compromised system.’ ChannelNews Asia carries similar information.”

Right you are, my good man.

December 11, 2008

Linux Developers’ Essential Skill : Why I’m Not Working

by @ 6:57 am. Filed under humor


Leave a comment if you don’t get it so someone can explain it to you.

Great times.

December 8, 2008

Linux Comic of the Day

by @ 8:55 am. Filed under General Linux, humor

Linux Comic of the Day on suseblog.com - Foxtrot

Heh, if only. The fastest I’ve gotten a full Linux/Apache/MySQL/PHP server running on OpenSUSE Linux was 37 minutes, and that includes adding all of the installation repositories. It was also installed without X, running in init level 3.

So, what are people’s records on getting a given LAMP stack up and running?

August 18, 2008

Linux Promoted by Olympic BSOD (pics)

by @ 9:46 am. Filed under humor, War

The BSOD strikes again, this time at the Olympic torch lighting ceremony:

BSOD at Olympic torch lighting ceremony

BSOD at Olympic torch lighting ceremony

BSOD at Olympic torch lighting ceremony

What’s funny is that China is assembling their own distribution of Linux…

Excerpt:

“Well, this is just perfect. At the exact moment Li Ning was rounding the lip of the Bird’s Nest during the amazing torch-lighting climax, someone snapped this photo of our good friend the BSOD nestled among the Nest’s steel twigs.”

Read the entire article here

July 8, 2008

Linux T-Shirt of the Year

by @ 1:23 pm. Filed under General Linux, humor, War

People seemed to have a good time with my last Linux T-shirt post, so here’s another one for you. I really like this one:

Linux T-Shirt

Click for a slightly larger version.

So again, where can I get one of these?

June 13, 2008

This Should Brighten Your Day

by @ 12:47 pm. Filed under humor

I feel like some funny time. Uh, here:

-

-

And some Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey:

I can still recall old Mr. Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to that old board of his. Then he’d spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped, he’d yell “Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!” We all thought he was crazy. But then, we had some growing up to do.

I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?

Like jewels in a crown, the precious stones glittered in the queen’s round metal hat.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

June 12, 2008

A Unicorn and Gnome

by @ 4:57 pm. Filed under humor

As everyone knows, I am a KDE proponent. This means that articles that make fun of gnome are funny. Check out this real unicorn.

Some of the truest quotes from this article are as follows:

“Enumerate all the features you want your app to have.”
“Cut 90% of them. Because they’re hard to do. But tell everyone that they don’t actually need that feature.”
“Implement 2% of them. Hide the other 8% in gconf. Hide them well.”
“Your interface must not have more than 4 buttons.”

Take a look at How to write a Gnome Application

June 11, 2008

Look at the SIZE of that thing!!

by @ 7:22 pm. Filed under humor

It’s me against this Monster Energy drink, today. Commonplace, this event. Drink a Monster, get stuff done. No problem.

I’m up against a whole new animal today, though. Take a look at this thing. The can on the right is your everyday run-of-the-mill 12-ounce can. The one on the left is my fiendish contender for today:

Huge Monster Can (click for full size)

That freaking Monster can is 7½” tall and 8¼” in circumference. That bad fool is 32 ounces. Surely the biggest Monster Drink I have ever seen.

And at the same time, TOTALLY unrelated to OpenSUSE or Linux. Except that it’s green. Like OpenSUSE.

I’m pretty sure that the OpenSUSE guys and the Monster guys should find a way to install Linux on one of these cans.

June 5, 2008

Excellent Billboard

by @ 6:58 am. Filed under humor, War

Must have taken this photo the day Vista came out…

Suddenly Everything Sucks

May 22, 2008

How do I get one of these shirts?

by @ 6:25 am. Filed under humor, War

I can’t remember where this came from, but I need to know who can help me find where to buy this bad boy. I’d probably even pay a finder’s fee, man. Seriously. So here it is:

-

Where do I get one of these?

March 14, 2008

Funny Linux Commands (with actual output)

by @ 6:39 am. Filed under command-line, General Linux, humor

OK, so who hasn’t seen this? Nonetheless, it’s still worth revisiting:

Funny Linux command-lines with real output…

% cat “food in cans”
cat: can’t open food in cans

% nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.

% “How would you rate Quayle’s incompetence?
Unmatched “.

% Unmatched “.
Unmatched “.

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% ^How did the sex change operation go?^
Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many (‘s.

% make love
Make: Don’t know how to make love. Stop.

% sleep with me
bad character

% got a light?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ drink matter
matter: cannot create

Great stuff, tell you what.

February 19, 2008

The Perfect Vista Advertisement

by @ 2:03 pm. Filed under humor

Not feeling too good today, but I couldn’t pass this one up. This will brighten your day, guaranteed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9Tu5CPVoP8

January 24, 2008

Stallman on Craigslist? *REALLY*!?

by @ 12:13 pm. Filed under General Linux, humor

This can’t possibly be Richard Stallman’s personal ad on Craigslist, can it?

Here’s his ad:

I’m a single atheist white man, 54, reputedly intelligent, with unusual interests in politics, science, music and dance.

I’d like to meet a woman with varied interests, curious about the world, comfortable expressing her likes and dislikes (I hate struggling to guess), delighting in her ability to fascinate a man and in being loved tenderly, who values joy, truth, beauty and justice more than “success”–so we can share bouts of intense, passionately kind awareness of each other, alternating with tolerant warmth while we’re absorbed in other aspects of life.

My 23-year-old child, the Free Software Movement, occupies most of my life, leaving no room for more children, but I still have room to love a sweetheart if she doesn’t need to spend time with me every day. I spend a lot of my time traveling to give speeches, often to Europe, Asia and Latin America; it would be nice if you were free to travel with me some of the time.

Reply and we’ll see where it leads.

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