Steve Ballmer Photo Created Entirely from BSODs
I love this:
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My Resume - My LinkedIn Profile - twitter: @scottmmorris*FACEPALM* - 20 years and still not figuring it out:
Ian Lamont writes "Microsoft has issued a security advisory warning users not to press the F1 key in Windows XP, owing to an unpatched bug in VBScript discovered by Polish researcher Maurycy Prodeus. The security advisory says that the vulnerability relates to the way VBScript interacts with Windows Help files when using Internet Explorer, and could be triggered by a user pressing the F1 key after visiting a malicious Web site using a specially crafted dialog box."
Read more of this story at Slashdot.
Not original, but classic, nonetheless
1) No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (defined as persons under 18) in the world; However, since Santa doesn’t appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload down to 15% of the original total – 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s only 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there is at least one good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chiminey, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chiminey, get back into the sleigh, and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which we know to be false but will accept for the purpose of these calculations), we are talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus eating, etc. This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run 15 miles per hour at the most.
4) The payload on the sleigh add another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-size set of Lego building blocks about two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer exist (see point 1), can fly very quickly (see point 2), and can pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine, reindeer. We would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload – not counting the weight of the sleigh – to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparision, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth II (Queen Elizabeth II the ship that is).
5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within .00426 seconds. Santa, meanwhile, would be subjected to forces 17,500 times greater than normal gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he’s dead now.
My car has a 10-gallon tank. And hat.
54.20 miles per gallon. That’s better than my motorcycle. Nope, my car isn’t a Prius. Nope, it isn’t even a hybrid. No, it isn’t a Geo Metro. Yes, this is a real picture that I took myself, this very morning of my trip meter.
<punchline>
YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY!
</punchline>
Tell me you haven’t always wanted to do this.
This came in my email…. 
Sucks to be a Windows user.
IT: Korean DDoS Bots To Self-Destruct on Thursday July 09, @11:41PM
Posted by timothy on Thursday July 09, @11:41PM
from the someone-needs-a-little-hanging-before-bed dept. security tsu doh nimh writes “Several news sources are reporting that the tens of thousands of Microsoft Windows systems infected with the Mydoom worm and being used in an ongoing denial of service attack against US and S. Korean government Web sites will likely have their hard drives wiped of data come Friday. From The Washington Post’s Security Fix blog, the malware is ‘designed to download a payload from a set of Web servers. Included in that payload is a Trojan horse program that overwrites the data on the hard drive with a message that reads “memory of the independence day,” followed by as many “u” characters as it takes to write over every sector of every physical drive attached to the compromised system.’ ChannelNews Asia carries similar information.”
Right you are, my good man.
Leave a comment if you don’t get it so someone can explain it to you.
Great times.
Heh, if only. The fastest I’ve gotten a full Linux/Apache/MySQL/PHP server running on OpenSUSE Linux was 37 minutes, and that includes adding all of the installation repositories. It was also installed without X, running in init level 3.
So, what are people’s records on getting a given LAMP stack up and running?
The BSOD strikes again, this time at the Olympic torch lighting ceremony:
What’s funny is that China is assembling their own distribution of Linux…
Excerpt:
“Well, this is just perfect. At the exact moment Li Ning was rounding the lip of the Bird’s Nest during the amazing torch-lighting climax, someone snapped this photo of our good friend the BSOD nestled among the Nest’s steel twigs.”
People seemed to have a good time with my last Linux T-shirt post, so here’s another one for you. I really like this one:
Click for a slightly larger version.
So again, where can I get one of these?
I feel like some funny time. Uh, here:
I can still recall old Mr. Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to that old board of his. Then he’d spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped, he’d yell “Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!†We all thought he was crazy. But then, we had some growing up to do.
I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in it, because do you hide from it or not?
Like jewels in a crown, the precious stones glittered in the queen’s round metal hat.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
As everyone knows, I am a KDE proponent. This means that articles that make fun of gnome are funny. Check out this real unicorn.
Some of the truest quotes from this article are as follows:
“Enumerate all the features you want your app to have.”
“Cut 90% of them. Because they’re hard to do. But tell everyone that they don’t actually need that feature.”
“Implement 2% of them. Hide the other 8% in gconf. Hide them well.”
“Your interface must not have more than 4 buttons.”
Take a look at How to write a Gnome Application
It’s me against this Monster Energy drink, today. Commonplace, this event. Drink a Monster, get stuff done. No problem.
I’m up against a whole new animal today, though. Take a look at this thing. The can on the right is your everyday run-of-the-mill 12-ounce can. The one on the left is my fiendish contender for today:
That freaking Monster can is 7½” tall and 8¼” in circumference. That bad fool is 32 ounces. Surely the biggest Monster Drink I have ever seen.
And at the same time, TOTALLY unrelated to OpenSUSE or Linux. Except that it’s green. Like OpenSUSE.
I’m pretty sure that the OpenSUSE guys and the Monster guys should find a way to install Linux on one of these cans.
I can’t remember where this came from, but I need to know who can help me find where to buy this bad boy. I’d probably even pay a finder’s fee, man. Seriously. So here it is:
Where do I get one of these?
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