OpenSUSE Linux Rants

by Scott Morris @ 6:39 am. Filed under command-line, General Linux, humor

OK, so who hasn’t seen this? Nonetheless, it’s still worth revisiting:

Funny Linux command-lines with real output…

% cat “food in cans”
cat: can’t open food in cans

% nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.

% “How would you rate Quayle’s incompetence?
Unmatched “.

% Unmatched “.
Unmatched “.

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% ^How did the sex change operation go?^
Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many (‘s.

% make love
Make: Don’t know how to make love. Stop.

% sleep with me
bad character

% got a light?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ drink matter
matter: cannot create

Great stuff, tell you what.

Christopher Says:
March 14th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Always a classic!
rince Says:
March 15th, 2008 at 1:29 am
ROFL 🙂

made me feel a little geeky for understanding the output though 🙂
rigorth Says:
July 21st, 2008 at 9:02 am
I tried all of them, only few would work. It’s so hilarious. Laughed my 4$$ off.
Sacx Says:
October 5th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Only few will work because this commands had changed in time, so is possible to have a different output. All this are quite old, but still funny
Yaro Says:
October 6th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Did you even actually test these? Almost none of them work!
Scott Morris Says:
October 6th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
@Yaro: At the time, nearly 1-1/2 years ago, when I wrote this article, I did indeed run them myself. As you may or may not be aware, software has been known to change over time. Such is the case with cli commands, quite possibly, thus explaining why they worked for me and not for you. Thanks for your valuable input.
Fred R. Wahler Says:
October 9th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
hilarity, I had to try all of these to ensure they worked. I would not take anything at face value.