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January 17, 2006

Why does this conversation sound familiar to me…?

by @ 4:01 pm. Filed under General Linux

WINDOWS ZOMBIE: You’ll never get me to use Linux. I refuse!

LINUX HOLY MAN: Tell me, my son, why is this so?

WINDOWS ZOMBIE: I hate learning new things.

LINUX HOLY MAN: Very interesting… Why else?

WZ: I like to pay lots of money for a false sense of security. I love to have everything done automatically for me. I don’t like thinking.

LHM: My good man, do you not find lengthy virus and spyware scans objectionable?

WZ: It validates me as an able and competent human being. I click SCAN, it finds and removes mountains of malware. I feel that I have accomplished something for the day. Besides, I love giving my money away needlessly.

LHM: Surely you feel more productive on a system that will allow you to spend time doing more than system maintenance. Is this not so?

WZ: No.

LHM: What about stability? Linux machines run forever. Were you aware that Linux systems measure their uptime in days and months? And that Windows machines still measure it in milliseconds? Don’t you want some stability in your life, my son?

WZ: No.

LHM: I fear that the enemy has a great hold on your mind. You must show faith. Free your mind. Come, meditate with me, my brother.

WZ: No.

LHM: You must first learn to trust Tux, the Great Penguin. He will show you truth. You will enter into the bliss known only in the open source community.

WZ: No.

LHM: Try Linux and you will find true enlightenment. It is the only way, my son. Microsoft’s own survey found that of 3,000 IT professionals polled, of those who were familiar with Linux and Windows, 86% preferred Linux. Why would this be?

WZ: My brain is melting. I am unable to accept anything other than what I already know. Windows does everything for me automatically. IF they could just make a mouse that will also wipe my butt… Then I won’t have to do anything for myself at all.

LHM: That is not the way, my son. You must think for yourself. You must read the manual. Learning will bring enlightenment. The human is the master and the computer is the slave. Not the other way around.

WZ: But I make a good slave.

Related Links:
Latest news of Windows Holes
What Part of Spyware Didn’t You Understand?
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The Biggest Joke of All Time

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